Ask Luke Atmey
sir atmey you have made a grave error. you said that godot was personally approved by miles edgeworth himself but later on when edgeworth comes back from his travels he inquires into who godot is because he has never heard of him before. how can he personally approve someone he hasn't even heard of before?
Anonymous

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Ah! W-well… er…

It’s quite simple, actually… Knowing Godot’s illustrious stature, I simply assumed that Sir Edgeworth would approve of him as a fellow prosecutor.

It seems I was mistaken, however…

-Luke Atmey, Ace Detective

Okey-doke then. So you're saying you've jumped into thousands of relationships blindly, not knowing if you'd even want to spend time with them for more than a week? Yes, I said a week. Assuming you've had women practically lining up to date you since I'd guess 14 up until now, you would only be just over one thousand if you dated each of them for a full week.

Dear shoreshimmer,

Ack!

Curses… your math skills are enviable…

…Fine. I shall be honest, and admit that I might have… slightly overestimated the amount of women I have dated in my lifetime. Just a wee bit, though…

-Luke Atmey, Ace Detective

Some time ago, I believe you said you had never fallen in love. So, what about those hundreds of women you have dated? Are you saying you never loved them?

Dear shoreshimmer,

H-hey, it’s not like that… I just… um.

Ah! You see, dear friend, my heart is notoriously difficult to win over. So while those women were all wonderful individuals, they simply were not the one for me. And I could never continue a relationship with someone I did not truly love, so they had to end. it’s sad but true, I’m afraid.

-Luke Atmey, Ace Detective

Unfortunately I'm more than a week late, but Happy New Year, Mr. Atmey! Which reminds me, how many years left on that nasty prison sentence of yours?
Anonymous

Ah, yes, and my response is quite belated as well, but I appreciate the sentiment, regardless. Happy New Year, anonymous letter-sender!

And there’s quite a while yet. Thinking about it makes enjoying this brand new year quite the arduous challenge, indeed. To answer your question, however, in terms of years, there are still 39 more revolutions of the Earth around our Sun to be had before I am to find freedom’s warm embrace.

-Luke Atmey, Ace Detective

So, have you ever heard of a certain pseudo-demoness (I mean "pseudo" as in both "false" AND "semi") named Dahlia Hawthorne? And if so, what's your opinion on her?
Anonymous

The name does ring a certain bell. That woman… she was involved in a number of murders that took place some years ago, wasn’t she?

Given my own position, I hardly have a right to judge someone whom I have never met, but if she is truly as devilish a witch as her crimes would suggest, I can’t imagine I would care much for her, no matter how beauteous she may have been.

-Luke Atmey, Ace Detective

You actually have a great mind, I just wish your personality wasn't screaming, "look at me! I'm Luke Atmey!". Anyway, have you ever heard of a certain Scotlad Yard worker, Alfendi Layton? I feel his genius would match yours, solving your problem that left you seeming a little off your rocker.
Anonymous

Duly noted, though allow me to ask you this: Would Luke Atmey be the magnificent man he is today without the confidence to believe it? “Had Alexander not been Alexander, he would have been Diogenes”, and were Luke Atmey not Luke Atmey, in all his divine grace, he may as well be Detective Gumshoe!

And no, I have not heard of any Alfendi Layton. What a ridiculous name, that. Though, if he is truly a genius to match my own, I cannot say that my curiosity is not piqued.

-Luke Atmey, Ace Detective

So, Mr. Atmey, it seems you'll be getting a new doctor. It seems Dr. Bumby had an unfortunate accident while awaiting the train. Expect him later this week. -the guard down the hall
Anonymous

Ah, is that so? It’s been a while since he’s even graced my presence, so it will hardly be all that different. Very well, though I must remind you that I am a genius with little need for a doctor.

-Luke Atmey, Ace Detective

A pleasure to stumble across your dashing Tumblr page, Mr. Atmey. I am a very big fan, so please, answer these questions: if you were a superhero, a) what would your name be? And b) what powers would you have?

Dear thecuriouswolfgirl,

Well, I certainly can’t blame you there. With such politeness, how could I refuse to answer your questions.

If I were a superhero… what a silly thought. Hm, let me think…

How does The Mighty Mind sound? And my powers, you ask? Well, all abilities relating to the mind would be at superhuman levels. I would be telekinetic, telepathic, psionic, all of that. I would also be a skilled hand-to-hand combatant with grace and dashing good looks, but that’s hardly a power, now is it? Anyway, I hope this satisfies your query well enough.

-Luke Atmey, Ace Detective

Mr. Atmey, my nose is similar in length to yours and I'm thinking about dressing it up a bit for the holidays. Get in the festive mood, yeah? So what do they let you hang from your nose in prison? Candy canes? Air freshener? I'm thinking about mistletoe. I'm afraid my friends will say to me though, "Oldmanfucker! You look as though you have a mustache! That won't do as you're a girl!" Help me out, man. One person with a huge proboscis to another.

….

I really have nothing else to say to this and to you other than,

NO!

-Luke Atmey, Ace Detective

I know this is kind of late to ask, but what did you do this Halloween? Please tell me you at least got some candy.

Apologies for the late response, my dear Wolf, but I am afraid I have little to offer. I am in a federal prison, and though it does take some liberties, handing out candies to the inmates to celebrate a holiday is not something they cared to do.

As for what I did, I simply sat in my cell and reflected on my own inherent brilliance. ‘Twas really not so different from most days, really.

-Luke Atmey, Ace Detective